2. My Callisto Momentz: 2014

Saturday, 26 April 2014

What To Do Re!!

Inhale ..... Exhale.... Inhale.... Exhale!! *huff*
  Hmmmph!! A new thing about me is discovered. I can really go on doing same things day by day, everyday without thinking to change  it a bit. I am tired finding myself coming to work, and doing NOTHING!!
    only Sit - Eat - Play games - Facebook - Twitter - Blogging and Staring at the computer screen and thinking thousand things at once and ending up feeling so useless :(

for almost anything?

Why am I doing the same thing everyday.. Cant I change it a bit... Cant I move my soggy ass and tryna shuffle !! Oh I see.. so finally I have been the victim of my lazy life... Geez! I need some energy, Uff cant even ask friend for it as how I request an energy booster in the games I play on Facebook everyday.
 why I am behaving like this as though there is really no other work left for me, why am I behaving so dumb, why my days are passing just doing nothing NOTHING productive? I am drilled now, I guess I am loosing the ability to think even... Its may be just a bad and boring day... Oh Geez... wake me up from my monotonous life!

 P.S. My bestie is out of town, missing him as he is out of any contact. Having little slit ups with baby.. need to fix it asap.

Sunday, 13 April 2014

Entry of the Lord in Jerusalem

     Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord. We bless you from the house of the Lord

a week before he was crucified like a criminal, he rode into the city a king.

 I think if my blog doesn't talk about God, then I fail being a christian. When I was a child, I used to count my festivals with other religions. I used to think we have so less festivals to celebrate and all of them are just so common, its same routine, going to church , meeting relatives and friends, wishing them and having the followed lunch and dinner together, that's it! Of course as a child thinking his way was nothing unusual, that time we were in the age where our brain was like on holidays until we grow up, our heart used to be on workdays just to beat and pump, nothing more than that.We knew only two feelings, happy and sad.... we used to cry when parents used to rebuke us and be very happy when they used to get chocolate and gifts for us :D
   But now when I am grown up, I am a teen turned into a woman, I have a mind to think, I have a heart to feel more than being happy and sad,  and I have a brain which is small in size but huge and  deep like a well inside which is never over poured with the knowledge we receive day by day. Now I know, that our festival is not just wishing people and meeting relatives, NO, this is not it! Its more than what we can see and what we can understand. As a child even I thought that going to church is the same old routine but what I did not know was it has all new things to teach us every time we visit. It teaches more about our religion, about Jesus and his teachings, It makes us more responsible towards our duty of being a true CChristian. Now when I know it all, I enter church, I keep my mind fresh, my heart dying to accept him and my mind ready to know God and be closer to him day by day.
  Today its Palm Sunday. Its 13.04.2014. This is the 6th Sunday of lent season and the last Sunday before Easter. It is known as Passion Sunday, Flower Sunday and Willow Sunday as well (oh , not bad!) On this day we go to church in the morning which follows by a mass, gospel reading, preaching about the facts of palm Sunday and its value in our life through Jesus. We get palm leaves distributed among us today and we attend mass holding it in our hands. Palm Sunday includes a possession of the  assembled worshippers carrying palms. Why Palm Leaves?? why not roses or some other flowers, why only palm leaves???? that's the question many people think when they see us with a palm leaves holding in our hands and gong back home. I remember how quickly I used to ask Appa (daddy) to make flowers and cross for me out of those palm leaves as soon the Mass used to get over. I miss my dad.

Ain't these beautiful.

It was really fun when we used to make sword out of those leaves and play the palm warrior.. hahaha...

          now enough of fun stories , now lets discuss some fact stories about this holy day. SO.....
    What   is    Palm    Sunday?

 Palm Sunday commemorates the triumphal entry of Jesus in Jerusalem, where he would be crucified five days later. According to the Gospel, Jesus rode into a town on a donkey as elated and exuberant crowd hailed him as their Messiah (Savior) and spread out palm branches and cloaks (to make i more comfortable) in his path. They also attempted to hold the palm branches over him to shade him from the sun. Palm leaves are significant symbol on Palm Sunday because it stand for the entry of Jesus  into Jerusalem. It stands for the victory. The same way a donkey is referred as an animal of peace, so Jesus coming riding on a donkey is a significance that Jesus is coming in peace. They welcomed Jesus with more passion and a painful thought as those followers knew that four days later, Jesus would be crucified.
Palm Sunday marks the beginning of the Holy Week. This week is very important for Christians. This holy week continues with a Good Friday which is the last day of Jesus life and ends with Easter, the day of  his resurrection.

I feel very bad when I see most of the Christians going church as it is a work for them , its like just go and finish it. Most of us go to church occasionally. In Christianity , Sunday is considered as a Holy Sabbath Day, we being a christian should go to church in order to keep it Holy. Listen to God and his teaching. If we do not do this,we will not be able to know about the one who has sacrificed his life on the cross for us. We will not be able to know the value of the Holy Trinity (Father, Sin and the Holy Spirit) Thus we will never be able to enlighten our children and other young generations about how lucky we are being Christians. It will be shame for us if we do not understand that somehow we can loose the opportunity to teach others and lessen our sins and redeem it through teaching Gods Prayers.
If you regularly go to Church, You will feel Jesus inside you. You will be able to see with your naked eyes how much persecution he has gone through, you will be able to feel his pain and agony.

On this day I pray for all those Christians who are still adamantly unaware of His sacrifice. We should know that he knew this from before, he has all of us in his mind, He knew it that He has to give his life in order to save ours, but still he did not reused to, he did not refused to his Almighty Lord, His unending passion and love he showed us in his way. Why cant we show him the same love by doing things which makes him happy. We can, right? 

On this Holt Occasions I pray for y'all, that the spirit of this Holy occasions, the warmth of the season make your heart bloom with joy and happiness.

 Have a Blessed Palm Sunday, Be a True Christian!!!

Monday, 7 April 2014

Saturday should be my stress buster

Hello Ladies... how are y'all?
 I work in such organization where party and good time don't exist. Its only work, work and work. Though we get our weekly offs which is NOT on weekends (only weekdays). Y'all tell me who parties on Monday??or any other weekdays... I dunno, but when I get my off day, I just cant think about anything but getting up late, having lunch late... I don't have word "lunch" in my eating pattern, Its always Lunner :p . as the day wear on I pass my day running errand, reading books, watching TV but never ever think of gong out and meeting anyone, you see I am not some big shot people will die to meet with and try to  manage time... so basically my off days goes with the thought of oh-hell-my-weekly-off-is-good-for-nothing feeling.
what I think is people need to plan their shcedule for their chuttis (holidays) I see all my friend planning for their weekends, which restaurant they wanna go, which disc floor they wanna hit on or which place they can give a short trip to, and what I do with my offs??  

i am best at this yoga position on my week offs :p
 No, I cannot do this to myself, I cannot keep myself away from fun...so what if my weekends are not free, so what if my friends cannot manage their time according to me.. I can always do that. So I decided that I will take out time from my boring life and will try to socialize. I decided to join my friends on weekends, if not Friday night, I can be a bitch on Saturday Night at least. hahaha.
and I am glad to say that I am too serious this time to grab some fun and masti. I understand I need to maintain hard to do this cuz slogging your ass for a whole day, you jus cannot think about partying, and the next day reporting at the same time to your workplace is all the more killing but you cannot have butter on both sides of your bread.
Oh yes, I have called up one of my friend to get me join a dance class too, I love dancing, dancing is my passion and I would love to sweat like a pig while I pump it up. Aaanyway.... last Saturday I went out with friend to a club, I was quiet adamant to go as two of my gurlfriends already backed off so it jus lessened my excitement. I called up baby and asked him to come along, being one of a prey of the same organization, he refused to come, he might be planning to go home asap and just hit the hay. This is what happen to us at the end of the day cuz our work just drain away the energy out  of us, we don't even get time to have a cat nap actually. So I don't have any doubt of asking him why he does not wanna join, understandably I would do the same if I wouldn't be a person who likes partying and some how he doesn't like clubbing much. Baby thinks two is a company and three is a crowd, I am so opposite to him, we are so unlike each other so what opposite attracts darling!
< Cut to >

So I needed someone to suggest me if I should go to the party, I am very pathetic in deciding anything. So baby told me to go as I was planning it since a week. I think I was jus needing someone's approval, anyone who would tell me to go to the party... hahahah. I called up Bebo and told her that I am all in. So we met near my work place after my work got over. We went for a fag and bitched about the friends who did not turn up for the party.
We are the best in it...

 After we were done, we went to Subway, grabbed a veg sandwich (stomach should be all peaceful while we jump like a jack) Then we headed to a restroom of a mall nearby and got ready...

Short Dress... Check!!

High Heels Stilettos.... Check!!

Make Up....Check Check!!

Hair.... Check!!

Clutch with a lip gloss and a kajal inside.... Check Check!! (though we are not gonna open it ones even)

Yeah baby, we are all set to paint the town red! We reached the place. I was so surprised to see that people still remember me even after my partying hiatus. I had loads of fun, after a long time I danced up a storm..Alhamdullilah, such energy after such a hectic work day even. I am blessed with the quality of a red bull I guess! We danced in all kind of numbers, from trance to desi beats. Thus the  party got over and I was very happy with my decision of calling my baby and asked him about the party, I was not so excited to go before he called me... but then all's well that ends well.

P.S.  I did not drink since lent season is going on.. I am away from alcohol though cookie did not fail to indulge in committing sin. Every time I smoke I say sorry to God (that's so stupid of me).

Anyway here are few pics from the party for y'all, aaaaaanjoy!!

This is what I wore for the party :)

My gurlfriend, My Bebo.. mwah! (party planner)

My dancing buddy.. he is so electrifying!

poor guy  didn't get the time to change even :(

I was so tired, My feet were begging for some fresh air.


Sunday, 30 March 2014

Karma Slaps Hard Baby!!

Hello Ladies!!
  I dunno why I am feeling so content today while I am writing this post, If y'all are regular on my post then you must remember I talked about a Bitch. How the fight took place and she went on and on by throwing nails at me, and I couldn't do much but saying bad things to her as well, though twas not as much the level she was downgrading herself.. You see, that's not my forte.
 She went on saying bad things about me and anything regarded myself. She started bitching from my upbringing to my personal relationship!! She cursed my parents, raised questions on my character and at last never spared my fiancée as well. I remember her bitter words which went down inside my heart and it never cease to hurt me every time I see her Ex (who is supposedly my best friend)... I would never taken her shits if I would never believed in Karma . Yes I strongly believe in the power of God Almighty , I believe in His justice.. when He talks everything become dumb! He has his own incredible way to punish the sinners and He never offended me in my prayers. I tell you the day the fight took place, I went back home and prayed to God , I said "God, I pray for the person who hurt me, so that she gets the ability to know the good and the bad, to control on the evil side of her mind and heart, If I did wrong to her never hesitate to punish me and if she did wrong to me, show it to her in your own way"

   I remember how she accused me to be in a useless relationship and called him pathetic where she has no rights to do so. But I never utter a word against her relationship with different people , who keeps changing their place from her heart to her bed... (God forgive me to say so). They say in God's home, there is delay but no denial. She has already faced her Karma and I tell you it has given her on the right time at the right place. She had a break off recently, (what? did I just say what I heard??) yes... this is true. A bitter truth of her life.. and much to my surprise this very news was given to me by my bestie !! I doubt now she must be realizing once she had got the taste of her own medicine... playing with my besties' life, breaking his heart and using him time and again.. she must be having a flashback in her memory lane, when she betray my BFF, when he pleaded for his love and she tramped all his dream by her feet. I swear she is one heartless lady I have ever came across with!!


  I was wondering how come MWB knew about her stitched up love story. There was no reason left for me to acknowledge her sheer selfishness and unfaithfulness when my bestie told me that SHE called him up and told him, may be definitely now she needs a shoulder to cry on. hmmmm now what happened to your dignity lady..? All the time when you refused to talk to MWB ever in your life? Has it been sold in the frustration market or what?? Did you say all that from your butt?? Whateverr!
  By the way I am not surprised or shocked when I heard about her break off cuz I know she is very much used to it, she probably has 5-6 break offs in a year. So its obvious. How can she manage keeping every guy in her man's frame... I do not wanna speak evil but sometime people, these kind of people needs to show them a mirror. I heard she told MWB not to discuss this with me. hahahaah! May be she knew I'd be the one who would laugh last and louder! and yes I did it... HAA HAA HAA!!!

   She had a break off, on top of that she showed the heights of her atrociousness when she shamefacedly called MWB expecting that he would give her the lap that invertebrate needed that time to shove her filthy face in and cry. She definitely knows which side of her bread is buttered (such an example of shamelessness) and I know my bestie.. after all whatever she did to him, he was ready to be there for her, and guys this is not the first time she has done things like this, she has used my innocent-madly-in-love-with-her bestie time and again as I have said already. I do not have any complain against him , I know he loves her, and I appreciate him for that. But in the same time I am trying to make him aware of her wickedness she did in past and I wanna keep him safe this time. I hope her butter would not melt in his mouth.Guess he himself knows it and be alert for God sake.
 I just thank God and appreciate Karma to have this phase in my life, all the tears I shed when she insulted my fiancée, all the pain my bestie have gone through, all the bad words she cast on me, all the cursing she had thrown on MBH is redeemed finally. Repent for all the hassles you created in MWB's life, realize when you considered his love conditional, you betrayed him when he loved you with no string attached, apologize (which is very hard for you kind of egoist person) for the time you abused and disrespect his mom and dad who were supposedly your MOM and DAD too. Shea!! so many mistakes and so much of cheapness, I doubt you face yourself in a mirror, do you?? yes , most probably you can because Shamelessness is YOU! I am afraid I am changing myself into one of you by saying so many things. *period*

    anyway its never too late, So I just hope things have taught her some good lesson and Inshallah she henceforth tries to become a good soul (my gut feeling says she is up to something nevertheless) once a bitch is always a bitch yaar!! whateverr...

P.S. MWB: This time I am not there with you standing beside if this girl makes some stupid silly mistakes again. Its totally your call to be there for her, I am not gonna repay this by staking my self respect and  plead to her for your happiness... the happiness which she can never grant you with... its again her nature... Wish for your best upcoming days and no more heartbreaks!!

Tuesday, 25 March 2014



Tik-Tok-Tik-Tok, Its 4 o'clock
My eyes wide open, My mind is blocked
It takes so much, to think so deep
Is that a reason, I ain't no sleep
Is it insomnia?? no it can't be
Its something in my head, buzzing like a bee!
Wanna take it out of my thoughts & mind
It seems no going anywhere, until I whine
So sealed my lips & closed my heart
I have to do so to move it apart
I take it off me & I never gonna be
The one who says I'm there if you need me
There are few thing now I will demand
I owe your love, your care and not only your commands
Its either I don't understand or he just ignore
But its true that I have never expected more
It is my bad habit looking blindly up to you
To think what I see is false & what you say is true
Its ain't going to be the same,the way you want it to be
Its ain't gonna be about you, it will now include m
I will stand right here the place I belong
Hoping you make things right what have gone wrong
I will make it difficult by lurking around
You'll find me by yourself if your love is profound
Now show me your limits & show me your bounds
Go against your call of duty in another way around
You will see me someday when your love comes true fellow
But I promise with my broken heart to you, I'd never say Hello !


☺ Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel


Thursday, 20 March 2014

Chor Saley!!!

E for ego, A for arrogance, R for rascals, T for treachery and H for haramis (bastards)
If they would not be there, the place would not be called "EARTH" !
            Its a shame for us that we find a friend in them, we try to get along with these kind of hypocrites. Its our foolishness to not to understand the real face behind their sweet and sober face mask! I right now am in that stage where I will think twice thrice hundred times to believe anyone. I have never ever experienced such a disgusting and a pathetic incident before. after which a deep-seated animosity has come between me and the people around me.
We are the most beautiful creation of God, when he created us he gave us every part of his body.. He created his image in us. But what did we give him in return. We used everything given by him to us in all sorts of bad work (not all though, but everyone of us in small to big crime) Human being can do wonders. So many inventions are the great examples. even chori (burglary). I am so very extremely angry that I wanna cut this sort and come to the point ir else I would never be able to tell y'all what had happened actually.
   There was an event held on 18th of March 2014 on Holi festival. somehow I am bounded not to reveal the place and the name of the event becuz it was held by a very dearest friend of mine. As I said that it was one of my friend's event so I was more like a crew member there than being just a guest. I work i such place where holidays and weekend don't mean anything, I work on weekends and slog my ass on holidays when all the other people enjoy at parties, beaches, resorts and other places. So this friend of mine requested me to be with him on the event day and work with on the pre event day as well.
I in my crew member avatar, nice no?

He is my bestie, I would do anything for my friends. So I had already thought if I don't get off on the required day, I would bunk. But Praise to God , luckily our store was closed on the per-event day and was suppose to open late on 17th of march (which is the Holi day itself) So I happily packed my bag and set off to the venue. i was so happy to get a chance to help my friend. My intention as so right, so pure. I went there and worked hard , ran to and fro in the scorching heat, break few religious rules as well. According to the lent season, being a christian, I should not play with colors, at least if its not so important and urgent. but I did it (God forgive me for that). So there more same kind of work, first time I came to know that the various events we always go, dance, drink, eat and enjoy, takes a lot of hard work behind the pleasure and fun we get.
   Anyways I dunno why I am talking about this where I want to say something else, Why i am just moving out from the topic of this post, may be I have gone mad, becuz I have lost my money and it was a good amount (sorry for not sharing how much it was).
   I had carried money for if any urgency occurs, it was in my bag and I no way doubtful that it ws not safe there.  The event was going on perfectly, everyone was busy at their given work, I was too given my 100% of my effort in this event. The day wore on and the event came to an end. Every guest started leaving for their house slowly slowly. I too left before all the crew member cuz I had to report to my work (remember I told I needed to report at 4 in the evening), They were enjoying so much that my heart was jus cursing me to pack my bag like that and leave the=at event, but I had no choice. I went to my bestie, hugged him and wished all the crew member goodbye. I don't know now when we are going to meet again.
    I took my besties car and headed towards my work place. Luckily I was able to reach on time. I was so happy thinking about the day passed with so much of hard work and we had given our sweat , blood and tears to make this event successful. I was so happy thinking that my intention paid me well. I did something for a good cause though all my colleagues were sleeping in their homes.
  But all my happiness just got covered by the black patchy clouds of sadness when I opened my bag and found my LV wallet lying opened and empty. what the efffff!!! why the hell my wallet is opened and empty, who the fuck has done that horrible and so shameful act??? I ws so clueless... at the same time I felt like I suddenly turned into a beggar who doesn't have anything with him. No money means no food, no drink, no wished=s and no enjoyment, there wont be any rest and peace in my life.. Its still 12-24 days to go to get my salary, how will I adjust, I thought about all these by the time I have never thought of the person who has done it. I was among my friends right? I felt like someone has bluffed me. I felt like I have experience the feeling same like what Jesus felt when he discovered that there is a traitor who was living among his disciples.I felt really bad. I called up baby and told him everything, He heard me crying over the phone, he was hone in other half and hour, he consoled me, he tried calm me down by saying that I should not be bothered since he is there for me, I know I wont have to be thinking anything when he is there, but  my money is my own money yaar! and the most important and hurting thing is i will get money again but the trust which i have lost, it wont restrain back. I am no more careful among friends than being in the company of strangers. I kept cursing the friend-cum-thief and was swearing like a truck driver. At last I realized I wont get anything by crying like that. I realized that things which are gone , are gone forever, its better to think that it e=was never mine rather than crying for it. I suppose I have done so many mistake in y=the past, may be it was a redemption fir these sins I have committed. My hard earn money does someone's good. I pray to God!

Sunday, 16 February 2014


Its so late I'm not sleepy, no, its not due to Insomnia, I'm not an insomniac, I am "homesick".
It never happened that I stayed away from my family ever, but in past few days something happened in my life which has led me to this situation where no one is close to me except my pillow and my Blackberry. Few days back I had a fight with my mom, the reason was so stupid and invalid (I don't want my mum to appeared as so stupid by telling y'all the reason) and I know things wouldn't have taken this shape if my younger siblings haven't intervened. I,a kind of a girl who keeps calm when my parent shout at'em, never talk back but this time I went against myself and I got myself belted with mother! I fought for only one demand, and all I demanded is the same respect from my younger siblings which  I pay to my parent (I am like a parent to'em as I am the eldest among all), but when I see  things going too beyond my limits, I throw my hands up!! They always take me for granted and its just becuz I have never behaved an elder sissy to'em doesn't mean they will disgrace me in such a pathetic way, that is totally beyond the pale. I always told mumma if my siblings don't know how to give an amount of respect I deserve, then I do not think I'd be staying in this house anymore, I asked her to warn'em but she did not. Aaaaand then I exaggerated the matter, the biiiig argument took place between me and mumma, which led to a big fight due to the interruption of my siblings, and I at last had to leave my house, I do not blame mother for whatever had happened , I will not complain that why didn't she stopped me to leave, why didn't she told my kinfolk to shut their big-fat-smelly-gob, why didn't she tell them to ask for n apology to me as they were talking and fighting with their big sister, I have always tried to be a good and a responsible sister to'em, I have left no leaves unturned jus to make'em smile and happy, I have never a bad- mouthed in front of'em, I always respect them as my dearest brother and sister, I always wanted to keep a sister cum friend relationship with'em and THERE where I failed :( They are so ungrateful. I will never ask mumma that why she shouted and told me to "get out of the house". I know she did what was right for the situation. As I said I don't get angry so fast , I try to ignore fights and argument BUT when it hits me I just don't care about the consequences. That moment I was angry cuz of my mother's taciturnity as well as hurt cuz my siblings just went on and on, they did not stop throwing cold water at me. I was crying and shivering, I dunno shivering out of anger or emotion? I really dunno that. There were so many emotions which were bubbling beneath the surface. But yea I know that at that point anger got the best of me and I rebelliously took the decision of leaving house. It was 1200 hrs at night I came out of my house without thinking where would I go, what will I do next. I--I-I just left. I went out to the road, it was so dark and silence. I felt like I had been fallen down from a parachute and trying to find out a way to go out of this isolated area. I felt like a traveler with in the midst of a desert, I felt like I am lost in a jungle with no maps and direction. But there is a saying "jiska koi nahi hota, uska khuda hota hai" (he who has God, has no despair) I felt so lucky when I saw a cab down the road, I felt relax, I did not know where I would be going. *Tring-ring* Baby's number appeared on my mobile screen having a wallpaper of me hugging my mum. Tear ran down my cheeks. I was not surprised when his call came to ask me what happened, as I knew someone has already played the part of a snitch-bitch from my family. I told him everything, until now he had just heard the one sided story which mumma narrated to him, being little annoyed with the incident I taunted him crankily "didn't mumma not tell you the story of Mahabharat in our house??" I can never control the bitch inside me!! He said he wanted to hear my part of story as well. I said whatever happened and I tell y'll I never uttered a lie. He did not ask me anymore questions, did not stick his opinions on me, he just said "ghar aa jaon, mere paas" (come to me, at my place) I was presuming he would ask me to go back home but when he said those comforting words to my ears I felt so blessed. Praise to Jezz as he is the source of such people. He is so supportive I swear.Kolkata is still safe somewhere , When I reached his place I did not call mumma, I did not even let baby call and inform her that I am safe now, Let her tear her hair thinking where I'd vanished in that mid of the night. I jus felt to severe the tie with my mum but I didn't cuz I knew, she is not wrong, we all are her children and she cant be bias to anyone, may be it was her confidence on me that she thought I will be able to make it  and yes she was is right. Anyway, after 2 days staying at baby's place I decided to move in to a new house, of course In my new house! *flummoxed*  whoa whoa whoa, hold on sweople, I am not too rich to buy a house or flat, I know it take an arm and a leg. I decided to take a flat on lease. Touchwood I have saved money for a rainy day. Thank to my bestie who taught me to save money saying that you never know when life takes a bad turn, He taught me to save money! I'm blessed to have him, what does he say, aah Alhamdulillah. 
my backbone and my support system

I took my bag (which hardly had any useful stuffs except my phone and wallet) and reached is home in a cab.
So ladies and gentlemen I have bought a home sweet home for myself with my OWN money. Really hard earn money always pays well. But I was never a person who follows a penny saved is a penny earn types shit, Errr... but I will have to say.. It does have a lot of meaning and the truth inside. Buying a new house was a problem, ya'knw like searching a better house with a better room condition and with the bestest localities and a friendly environment. Though I have succeeded but then staying alone is a great task for me, I who never ever stayed away from a family, from my mum, how am I gonna manage ya?? I kid you not, staying alone is more painful than getting hurt. How will I do it...?? I feel scared, insecure and incomplete without my mum, I remember when she used to leave me home alone when she used to visit nanna sometime, even then also I used to maska maaro (butter polishing) my girlfriend to stay over my place. And now how will I do it, God, please help. give me the strength to fight with my loneliness. Last night was the first night in my new house and I was not getting sleep, Yes, I ain't sleepy. I wanted to talk to someone & keep me busy till the dawn. I wanted to call someone, a friend who asks me why I was I awake so late. A friend who talks to me and never feel irritated as my nonsense talk  keep him/her  awake. Its not that I did not try to reach my friends, I tried calling few, some of'em had became deaf my their ear & some of'em had became deaf by their heart. Some had kept their phone silence by routine & some has kept it dumb by purpose, there are friends whom I could call, but I knew, among'em few are the ones I did't wanna disturb & few are the ones who wouldn't wanna get disturbed by me and that unearthly hours! Its very easy to call for someone when u're in need but its takes a true heart to give answer when u're called for help, It takes one blink of assurance to convey the word "I am there".
 My homesickness is teaching me lot of things. It has showed me the difference between a true friend & a fair-weather friend. I have realized that "when some one falls down, there are many hands to push it down, but when one wants to get up & rise, there is not even a single finger to give it the support it needs." THIS IS WORLD, A SELFISH WORLD AND I BELONG TO THIS WORLD.

No matter what, I love my Mum

Miss you Appa
 I miss mum, I am helpless I cannot go to her, I want her to make my siblings realize that they are wrong, to ask'em to say sorry to me, and tell me (I don't even want'em to  beg or request) to come back HOME. I miss my Appa (dad), I am he would never let things happened like this if he would be here, He would have given a karara chamaat (tight slap) on my brother's black cheek and would have turned it red!! I miss you Dad, I can feel the lack of you presence. God gives peace to your soul. I will never go back unless they do not come to me, Its nothing about ego guys, this time I have kept my dignity and my self respect at stake.

Friday, 14 February 2014

Just Another day!

Hello Ladies....

           Today its 14th Feb, A Valentine's day. Where all the couples are planning to go out for a candle light dine, for gifts and presents and flowers, for a long promenade hand in hand, someone must have already thought to ask their gurl's hand for marriage (thinking its a right time to pop the question as the gurl might get on the rocks to say NO :p), to kiss and make up, its a day of Red and Black, its a day of heart shaped balloons floating in the sky, cards & roses (specially red bunches) & obviously a day for lots of promotion in stores to make people go through damages in buying solitaires & diamonds! *banao banao, aur chutiya banao* (make fool out of everyone) and here is Me, on the other hand celebrating the Tom's in Town. hmph!! It had made it a just another day for me, nothing special today types. I tell you my stomach is paining so badly , I think all my guts are playing "tug-of-war" and the half of it can come out at any moment! I am not feeling good, i am feeling so restless, so finicky as a cat, Its the day when i am not in best of my moods... Baby called me twice to change my mood, to make me laugh and convincing me to go out, but nothings worked out except I ended throwing nails at him without any reason. Sorry baby for behaving such a bitch to you, its not your fault at all, Its me who is in a don't-mess-with-me mood today *pout*

      I Think I should go into hibernation mode which may include doing absolutely nothing but jus pressing a pillow against my stomach and hiding my face into the cushion, I do not want to do something or say something for which I regret later. Mumma please turn off the light and you outta of the door!! Pah-leez!

Later huns

Bubye *pout*‬

Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Apu's Wedding Was Awesome!!!

Ello Sweople!! How ya'll have been doing... Gr8? Fantastic? Good? Not Good or Bitchy?? I know, this changing weather is effecting on our daily moods too, innit? I think It  has made me go under the weather twice in a week.Whatever, I wanna tell ya'll bout a super wedding ceremony I have attended before I hit the blanket to get some sweat which will sweep the fever off my body (mumma used to say this). I cannot just imagine that few days back I was looking so beautiful with the make up ofcource in the wedding and now I am looking like a tucked chicken in a blanket :(

oh my my! look at me just look at me ;)

love this saree, Baby has gifted me this saree and said "wear it if u wanna look good on the wedding day" whaaaaaat? HawHawHaw  Haw mean of u baby to say like that! but I can excuse u for this cuz the fact that you bought something for me *with love*. I am not so comfy in sarees, I don't wear'em cuz I cant handle it well, I get basophobia, (though it never leads me to not want to stand up at all) nevertheless I wore it. I think I did quite a justice with baby's thought *shrug*

sweat and heat of a blanket has made me a boiled chicken

and now look at me... I never thought I would look so ugly in double the amount of beautiful I looked in the wedding, I wish fever extinct like dinosaurs. Fever doesn't cut it off, I will still blog and fight with you moron.
Anyway, one good thing which gave me wings is my pictures are 100 times more than the bride [not boasting hun, kasam se (I swear)] and the bad things was everyone in the wedding was hitting the same question like a bullet at me!! everyone was like tum kab kar rahi ho shaadi (when are you getting married) ?? At one point of time I wondered if I have not come in some family settlement questionnaire. This is why I hate to attend any marriage, cuz I get bummed when people look at me, give a pathetically irritating smile and say "you are next"! Arrrgh !! how badly I wanna see'em in someone's funeral and tell'em the same phrase wickedly.. Oh God, Please forgive me for this Such a bitch I am. Anyway, I am a self-dependent and a grown up girl ya, I know I will definitely get married when I will feel the time is right, I have a person who loves me with no string attached, he never forces his decision on me then why you people are so bothered about it, Yeah I don't mind with their faaltu questions as long as they admittedly want to invest their money for my marriage :p, I dunno, mumma also irritates me asking the same question some time (where do I go now??) "do you think your damaad ji (son-in-law) will run away by trampling over your daughter's pride and crushing her love and affection?? Really?" [arched eyebrow] Perhaps you need to reinterpret your data so that you would never think like that again. honey I don't wanna spoil my mood by talking about all of urs nonsense questions! *bah*.
So Where were we? Ah! The wedding ... Refresh it again with some beautiful pics :)
Ain't we look made for each other ?

Two very important men in my life!!(Baby and my BFF, Love'em to bits)

 There was a time when I was never into Social Networking that much.But now I am amazed seeing the menu wall of my Blackberry. Its full of so many Social Apps :D

Somehow I feel social networking has played an important role in my life, It has improved me being more friendly and  extrovert, It had got me the most wonderful BFF in my life (Yes, I met him on FB) and I am happy to see that my baby's  relatives supposed to be my would be in laws know me without even meeting me before, not even once just because of FB. They know me though Facebook... hahahaha.. It really gives me an immense feeling that I am sososo so famous on FB, I sometime get worried as well cuz they all stalk on me and my oh-not-their-types Pics and statuses *biting nails*. So what, everything doesn't come handy. Everything has some pros and cons, even Life is a part of it. Sometime it gives us so much and sometime nothing. Sometime its a bowl of cherries and sometime it throws lemon at us.But ya'know This is Life and so it will e but you do not stop living.. innit?
I gotta go now before my boss peeps in again.. You know why.. I told ya'll that I use my office PC to blog, don't ya'll remember?? never mind. Isse pehle that horse faces bitch comes to check on me and I do that same mistake I did last time, Imma logging of preserving my good memories with ya'll. Enjoy it and Enjoy life too..
Bubye... Tatas!!

Saturday, 1 February 2014

Uhh That Bitch!!!

Kutti, kameeni, haraman, dayawaani, Mother Teresa ki amma!!! These words, these precious words are for no one but just for me, becuz I am the only deserving person among all who always put their butt onto the oven. Arey yaar! What did I want? Just to wish someone on her birthday & make her feel special, feel good. I have heard about a phrase "forgive & forget" but I guess some people should strictly go through the meaning of these golden words as they close their heart to others. They cover their ears so that they can't hear what is true (selective hearing ya see). Just to unheard what other people have to say, they shout at the top of their lung so loud if its little more, their lungs would come out to their mouth through their throat *snort*. I will not whine here much & will come straight to the topic for which I have this post here. One of my friend's Ex girl became a friend with me,who I thought would be a friend. But she proved me wrong & appeared to me my friend's Ex ONLY. I knew I have fuel on one hand & fire on the other, still I have kept both of them at their own & separated places nevertheless. Being my friend's well wisher I tried hard to get them back together, but I failed, the thought of being THE FEVICOL consider it to be myself becuz I wanted to arrange their pieces of broken heart together occurred in me when I started talking to the girl, then after when I realised that they can never come along however I try,I had quit of thinking to see both of them in a family picture, they are like two shores of a lake, which will never be together, they are like chalk & cheese.
Since I started talking to this girl, I liked her company, I like the way we used to discuss things, we used to make fun of others & giggle, we used to correct each other & give the right advise, becoming each others fashion consultant, giving snide comments to each other sometime we started sharing couple of secrets as well, meanwhile I forgot that she had a trick up her sleeves. I forgot that she is my friend's ex & gave her the tag of my girlfriend BUT it was nothing what I thought, it was all her conspiracy to make me fool & take out all the possible information about her ex (my friend)...I always give her that surety that I am not a lying detective bitch (this what exactly she thinks & calls me often) behind that I-wanna-be-your-friend mask but I always felt that she called me friend whenever she needed me & as her works done, she would changed, throwing nails at me she used to be someone else on the other side. May be I only wanted to go against the grain. I always tried to go beyond my call of duty just to keep a pure friendship with her but she used to get angry & abuse me at every drop of a hat irrespective how close I became to her or may be not, Jezz!! I am not a kind of a person who calls someone a friend in one blink of eyes & call the same person a bitch on the other blink,I don't forget my old friends whenever I get the new one.. No! I always have given equal priorities to all my friends who are close to me (friends who are much more than my so called friends).Yeah, I agree sometime things used to slip out of my tongue which always pulled her back to her past where she'd find herself clinging with her old memories spent with my friend (the guy), I was & I am sorry for that, I really am. For me they were just like a perfect couple & its hard for me to accept that they are not made for each other, so I can just imagine the amount of pain she must have had gone through whenever he is been discussed.. & I feel her.. Becoming her friend was utterly my choice, not someone's conspiracy. Gone were those days when he used to talk about her throughout the day & I used to assure him that I will try my best to get her back in his life,things have changed, he has changed & so are my thoughts. Now I don't attach two of'em in any chapter, I have stopped seeing them as my idol couple.
Few days back, my brain gave me a recall about this girl's birthday, I knew our friendship is over, she had already called me a bitch.. The string was already broken. Not even being a girl attach me with her anymore, but I really like her, I keep my friendship with no string attached no matter whatever they tell me or call me (I am already become a bitch for pouring my heart out for her) Anyway *move my hand dismissively* It was her birthday & being not in touch with her since a very long time & having a very bad closure to our friendship, I thought to give my piece of best wishes to her & I what I got?? A full bucket of insults in return. I know it was supposed to happen but I did ain't like it nevertheless. Wishing her on her birthday was the worst thing I did to myself, like that it was not a good experience to have her bad mouth, on top of that my birthday wish (even if it after a year) had put the final nail on the coffin. Bas hona kya tha, she blurted it out on me AGHAIN & started swearing like a truck driver. This time I did not waited anymore to be called something which I am not. She said so bad to worst things to me that this time she admittedly crossed her limit, I am not the one who creates problem or falls into one but trust me I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. This time I had to show her that if I am a bitch then it always takes one to know one, & you should really know this Miss-ungrateful-egoist-stone hearted-insensitive-degraded-hussy!!!!! I will not say I did not say anything bad to her, but I think its never bad to give someone a dose of their own medicine & TRUST me I did not feel good to do that but if I wouldn't say anything, it would be shame for me that I can't fight for myself & let other throw cold water at me.Nah, I ain't that Invertebrate.
            Huuuuuuge< insert a wail here> *arm outstretched* conversation occurred place between us, & there was only war & no peace. I tried my hard not to keep any bitterness for her inside me neither wanted her to keep any ill feeling for me, but its not what the situation demanded, I guess we were destined to be strangers forever or 'ENEMIES' sounds more suitable.
Sometime its much better to keep few people in the picture frame of our memory & never try to break the glass to see them more clearly, we might effect the picture as well instead. I have realised that you do not deserve good people in your life.Its quite late though.

You don't deserve me & my friendship, I lovingly welcome you in my "Black List"
Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel.