2. My Callisto Momentz: August 2013

Monday, 26 August 2013

How long will one Compromise??

No greetings, no smileys, no gossips & no discussion... Today I just wanna share my pain with ya'll.. I dunno where to start from.. Everything has become so dark suddenly,everything has become so hazy just like my mobile screen, yes my mobile screen gets hazy as I am writing this blog, cuz tears are just blocking my vision,every time I try to control on it, its building up in an invisible reservoir & not stopping to shed ☹
People find stories everywhere, there are stories before & after death, there are stories behind every smile & in every single drop of tears, there are stories for someone's happiness & there are stories about everyone's pain.my real life has become a sad, very sad story too.. I'm very simple & sober, I was very much fascinated with love, it was like that unknown chapter which I knew I will reveal someday, how & when? I did not know that.. This question used to make me feel curious as well as excited too, I was very happily ready to fall in love,I used to think there is no wrong in being in love cuz there is no wrong happens in love, I was just following the happy ending of every love stories but forgot to remember the real stories of life, of my friends who have faced the pain & taken the plunge to live with it.. A pain called LOVE.
finally I found someone with whom I cud be in love with no string attached! But I just did not realise that its always take two people to build up a relationship, two people who understand each other, who are always supportive to each other. I did not wanted someone who will show me what love is, I wanted someone who will show me how to keep relationship!!
Its been 7 yrs of my relationship in which I feel I am just a participant. I dnt know whether this relationship is based on our affection or on our compromise. There are always situations created in which my option are like "either compromise & be happy or just don't compromise & suffer." I had to choose one, & I had chosen to compromise in every way, but I realised there is no happiness even if I do compromise, I am not satisfied with my relationship cuz it takes me no where, wherever I try to find a solution it always leads me to the darkness & loneliness,
"I Have a Partner!! I Have a Partner!!" I find myself shouting like a fool but no one to responds to it. We think there has to be some big reason when people really fight because of & just walk away.. NO!! There is not BIG reasons always at least not in my case. I ain't expect him to get stars from the sky but I really want him to love me to the moon & back. There are so small small things which come'on, I mean a small boy will also do it if he loves someone.. But why are'nt you DMJ!!! I'm a kind of a person who thinks too much on small small things & cry on it too (I guess, I have a small reservoir fitted into my eyes for this) we love each other equally (as DMJ says) then why its only me who cries, who feels the pain, who keeps her eyes wide open at dawn to dusk, My Eyes!! they work on producing tears whole night!! whenever we fight, I cry whole night & think that how can his conscience allow him to be so normal after hurting someone, how can he be so cool, so careless, these questions always finds only one answer & that is that he does not love me & he cares a damn...
I am broken now,each time he hurts me, my heart breaks into pieces, & now I'm so vulnerable that I can't gather those broken pieces together again... I think if a person has not learn to keep his relationship good in 7 YEARS, what will he try in future.. oh well yeah, that person will succeed in ruining my future for sure but I can't afford to make my world Hell in here on this earth.. I can tolerate the heartbreak now rather than spoiling my mental & health condition which I will face in a broken marriage relationship later, Noooooo, I can't afford to do that baby....

I better QUIT!!

God strengthen me..


Tuesday, 20 August 2013

Do it if You Love It !!

Hello Ladies... how r ya"ll ?

I know its been quite a very very long time I have not posted (though i am not a daily blogger).. I dunno how many of you read my blog, i think no one my blog has not came under notice of you people, may be writing a blog ain't my forte but i love to tell things about me and my life, and that ain't need any skill, right??

 I want people to know me through this blog, not as a great blogger but as a Common Indian Girl. May be I dunno how to pen down my feelings but I really want to share my daily dealings in life.. Its not about being famous but its about being one of you, its about sharing my problems with ya'll and solving yours too (I'd be glad if I'll able to do so), you will think that why ain't I go to a counsellor if i really wanna share my problems and feeling stress.. No, that ain't help me.. the counsellor will not Empathize me... he will Sympathize me.. That person ain't listen to me as ME but as a person who will be getting paid for listening to me and trying his best of advises to solve my problem, that person ain't put himself on my shoes but only will change his/her perspective :)

                     I want someone who thinks like me and  feels like me.. I know its hard, its hard to find that one person who exactly feel the same BUT i know if you people are reading my blog.. aaaaaaaand if its 10 people out there who are reading my blog, I might get at least one among them who is just like ME!!!
   I promise I might not touch your wits but i can touch your heart. Recently i was thinking to give up with this blogging thing but at that moment I came across with something which change my mind from giving up, I decided I will stand up and stand high.. I will write and I will keep writing for myself becuz penning my thoughts down gives me an immense feeling of satisfaction.. Every word takes away a small small pieces of that burden which is pressing my heart, when I blog I feel like I share things with SOMEONE and I feel so light (though I know practically its not been shared to a single person even)
   There is a saying "karm kar, phal ki iccha na kar" (Do you duty, without concerning about results).. I will follow this in  my blog life too.. i will blog about my daily situations, article which changes my feelings, people who I love and care about and above all I will write about me.. without thinking and expecting my blog to be read by people.. I will blog....

Yes, I will Blog